Have you ever stopped and thought that you are NOT where you want to be in life?

3 days ago

5 min read

Like, really not! You have been putting yourself down, thinking, "What the hell have you done?"

You turn 50, and you start to doubt everything you have built in the last 5 years.

The job, the side hustle, the house, your investments. To you, success meant millions of dollars in the bank, and your balance is two zeros short of that.

You think ok I am just going to burn it all down!

What have you got to lose anyways?

Then a small voice says, according to who?

You sit up; you listen. You start to think about the last 5 years again.

Did you really do nothing? Are you really a financial failure like you think you are?

I had to have a heart-to-heart with myself two years ago. I really looked at the whole financial picture.

Yes, there was debt; however, our home's value had almost doubled. So was the debt really a failure, like I kept telling myself? I didn't sleep for weeks because of it. However, I quickly learned it was leverage.

So then I thought to myself, but ya I have poured my heart and soul into the veteran community and for what? Relationships that last a lifetime, real relationships where I know if either of us needs anything, we have each other’s back. A Marine told me he had my six, and it was the best feeling in the world; I felt like a millionaire that day. Not because my bank account reflected that, but because I had built a relationship that meant more to me than some of my own flesh and blood.

Ok, you wrote 2 books, but they are not NYT bestsellers, and you haven't made millions of dollars off them? It’s not like you even sold enough to break even.

Ok I took a step back on this one. You're right; as of now, they are not blockbusters. I let negativity, doubt, and fear rule me as I tried to get the word out about the books. The one did become an Amazon bestseller in its first hour, though! And I have had people reach out to me and say thank you for writing my life story because of you I didn’t give up.

Hmmm, I had to sit and think about this one. I wrote the book to help others know they were never alone, and that their circumstances don't define who they are. I wrote it so others would know that if I can get through this, so can you.

Did I succeed in that? Yes.. Maybe not to the degree I thought, but hell yes I did. So am I a failure because I didn’t make millions of dollars off of them? Nope.

Next, I thought I was a failure because I had not been on sold-out stages around the world sharing my story of turning my pain into power. I thought, "What happened to your dream of being on sold-out stages sharing your story?" It was almost at that moment that I had a devil and an angel on my shoulders. Each one would mimic the other. Piss each other right off! Lol

I knocked both of them off and said to myself, but you have talked at the University of Toronto, and people came up to you in droves after saying they could so relate to my story and thanked me for sharing it.

It wasn't what I had built in my mind as success looked like, but it was a start.

Then I thought, you've been doing your show for 5 years now, and you are not Oprah, like you said you wanted to be 5 years ago. You don’t even have a million followers.

Then I had a conversation with an amazing man last week who will be on my show this Monday, and after I clicked done, he said to me, “Dorothy, thank you so much for allowing me on your show. You make a person feel so comfortable while you’re talking to them; it makes me feel like I am part of your family”.

I told him thank you, and we talked about my dream when I first started, and he said Dorothy don’t you see you are Oprah? Oprah had one gift, and that was to make whoever was on her show feel like they belonged. To feel like they were in the same room, to feel like they mattered. I stopped and paused. I said thank you. I had been putting myself down because the millions of dollars Oprah had made weren't the same zeros I had in my bank account.

Yet I made people feel like they were a million dollars. I thought, but yeah, you haven't been able to give millions away as Oprah has.

But I stopped and thought, you took the worst day of your family’s life, and you built a golf tournament in your dad’s honour that has grown from 5 teams to 32 teams in 5 years. The first year was a bust in terms of money; the second year we made enough to help a local woman in need with some of her cancer meds; and then in the last 3 years we have donated $11,000 to the Chatham Kent Health Alliance Foundation- patient care assist program.

That is not nothing! It may not be millions like Oprah, but it’s not nothing!

I also looked at what my family has done over the last 5 years in terms of vacations and fun.

A friend recently posted Has anyone ever been to an NFL game before. I thought, heck ya, 2 NFL and 1 Big Ten game and one MI game… that made me stop in my tracks. Not many other people can say that. I took it for granted.

Over the last 5 years, we have been to PA, NY, GA, OH, IL, FL, MX, and across ON. Not bad for someone who isn't a millionaire.

Yet I would still doubt myself; there are still times I would say ya but… " This week I was like, ya but nothing!

You’re also a 2-time recorded songwriter, and the money goes back so that more veterans can share their story.

So the next time you say to yourself, ya but…. I want you to remember what it is you have done. NOT what you think you should have accomplished or what the value of that means.

Because I can tell you right now, the memories and the relationships I have made over the last 5 years are worth more than millions of dollars. They are priceless, and I just had to remind myself of that.

There is no limit to what you can do; the limit exists within your mind.

So, to reach my next level, I am going to do something I don’t usually do: ask for help.

If you know anyone with an UNSTOPPABLE story that needs to be shared with the world, I would love to meet them. If they are veterans, survivors or trailblazers, please introduce us.

If you know anyone hiring for an executive producer role or for strategic partnerships and community impact leadership, please introduce us.

If you know anyone hiring speakers around mental health, turning your pain into power, or being Unstoppable, please introduce us.

If you or anyone you know feels like they are alone and they feel isolated, and they feel like they don’t matter, or they have gone through a lot and are thinking this is way too heavy, I would love for them to listen to over 500 stories of men and women who thought the same thing and just kept putting one foot in front of the other. Please have them watch these stories and find the HOPE they need. https://www.youtube.com/@theunstoppablenetwork/streams. Subscribe to our channel and share with others who need the same hope.

In a world that sometimes feels overwhelming, we have created that safe space here.

Remember, you might not be where you thought you would or should be, but it’s all about perspective.

I look forward to hearing from you.

With love and gratitude,

Dorothy