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All of Me.

It’s 4 a.m., and I can’t sleep anymore. My mind is racing, and I know I haven't written in a long time. I have been so busy with life and the things I thought I should be doing.


All great things, but God is not leaving me alone to go back and sleep.


This past week has been nothing short of amazing. When you decide to take your life back, things begin to shift.


Things that you thought were important are not. Things that used to drive you don’t anymore.

I have been blessed to have friended some amazing people over the last decade. I build relationships I never thought possible, and each one brings a new element out of me.


At this moment, I feel like Tom Cruise is in Jerry McGuire. He couldn’t sleep, so he wrote his mission statement, which blew up his life as an agent.


Click, and there goes another piece of my puzzle I didn’t see.


I never saw myself as an agent until recently. Now, after writing that statement, my life’s path is clear.


Some would say I am a contradiction of amazing proportions. I love hard, protect what is mine, and go to the ends of the earth for the people I love. I will curse like a sailor or a trucker depending on who I am with I will work harder for you than I would for myself. I love people where they are and do not try to change them, however, I will want more for you than you do yourself and I may give you advice, but I am learning to ask first if you want it.

 

I am a recovering perfectionist and want everything for my loved ones just so perfect, and usually, that has blown up in my face on more than one occasion. It smothers the shit out of them, and I never even realized it. I am flirty and fun, and I have stuffed that part of me down, thinking it was wrong.


I see things in others that they don’t. I don’t see the person before me; I see into their soul and see the diamond they are.


We grow up where we are taught to work hard all our lives for someone else, even at the expense of our happiness. It’s time to take my happiness back.


Lately, I have decided to challenge many of my old belief systems. They have not served me well, so it’s time for a change.


The new Dorothy is emerging from the ashes like the Phoenix; I am rising again.


I have been studying Kathleen Cameron over the past month. Although I have heard her teachings before, the way she teaches and her background story grab my attention. She teaches you to go from within and embody the person you want to be. Visualize her and then be her.


It's funny. As someone who has done everything to be successful, the one thing I have not done is visualize and just be. This is deep stuff, especially at 4 a.m. What can I say lol?

So, this past month, I have learned to appreciate myself more and more and to see myself as the result of who I want to be.


There has been a huge shift this week. I was filled with gratitude like I had never felt before.


I feel whole and complete, just as I am. For decades, I have hated my body; I have had people tell me my whole life I need to lose weight. I have tried everything to lose it, and what you focus on, you get more of it, so yes, there have been times in my life when I would lose it, but it would come right back on. Diet after diet didn’t matter. But I realized it is an inner shift that needs to happen. If you are healthy, then you embody that lifestyle.


As someone who ate her emotions instead of talking about them or dealing with them, it's decades of suppression that have kept me stuck. I realized the outside would stay the same without dealing with my inner stuff.


For the last decade, I have been working on myself. Whenever I know what needs to change, I am the first to work on it.


That being said, I also saw success as something different. I saw success as having zero debt, millions in the bank account, and traveling the world. I also retired from my husband's day job and work anywhere in the world from my laptop and Wi-Fi. I donated millions to the charities I love and helped end homelessness and veteran suicide.


I had the blinders on; anything short of this, I didn’t see as success. I was driven, and it seemed like my dream was getting further and further away from me.


Until this week, Friday, I sat at my desk so filled with gratitude. I am rich and abundant in relationships. Like, I mean fricken abundant, and I allowed myself to feel that and to know that no matter what in life, I know I am successful.


It filled me from my head to my toes with the realization of how rich I am. I am so grateful for the people I have in my life. I know I am rich and abundant, from my immediate family to my friends to my veteran and first responder community.


If I have learned one thing this week, my bank account and my weight do not define me or my success. Neither will stop me from achieving my goal of being who I am and continue to be.


What has your defining moment been? How do you define success? Maybe you need to shift your focus to get the results you want in your life.


If you need help with the shift, I am here for you; I would love to connect with you.


With that, my friends, be safe and well and remember that you define what success looks like.


Till next time.


Dorothy








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